How do you Reward Yourself?

Hey y’all.

I spent the weekend at a workshop called How to Build a Joyful Writer’s Habit and came away with a huge revelation I wanted to share. 

Here it is:  I am so bad (reframe in a growth mindset: I am learning how to be good) at giving myself rewards. 

Our instructor, the fabulous and funny Zahra Noorbahksh, asked us to create a weekly schedule that included rewards, and I was shocked to find myself struggling. It turns out that I’m good at self-care routines (exercise, manicure, occasional massage) but not so great at the small, everyday actions that, to use Zahra’s words, provide “physical and emotional ease.”

A reward, she reminded me, is a rest from labor. It needs to be easy, accessible, and instantaneous.  Huh!  I’m guessing many of you aren’t that good at rewarding yourself so here’s the list I developed for myself. You might find it helpful

Have a piece of my favorite candy

Or a piece of chocolate, or cake, or really any dessert or sweet treat

Drink a cup of tea

Or hot chocolate, or wine, or a cocktail

Feel your body with a hamstring stretch

Or some deep breathing, or a dance break, or deep yawns and a smile. 

And my number one favorite, take a nap. 

If these feel silly to you, as they did to me at first, think about the last time you did any of this, with ease and without guilt, just because. If you’re like me, you don’t build in rewards, early and often, in the course of the everyday. 

You are magic. Reward yourself. And let me know how it feels. Or if you have anything to add to this list.

In celebration,
Sayu