Remembering what you have

One of my recent fixations is Shrinking, a show on Apple TV about the lives of three therapists, who share a practice, friends, and sometimes clients. I am in love with the character of Gaby, played by Jessica Williams. She’s smart, funny, hot, and confident–a banger combination. In the show, Gaby and her friends and co-workers pop in and out of each other’s lives, at opportune (and inopportune) times, offering advice, companionship and acts of service. 

I want a life similar to this, in a lovely, affordable neighborhood close to hiking and the sea, with perfect weather and self-aware friends who (mostly) know the right things to say and do. 

Sayu, you might say, it’s a show, not real life. Well, you’d be right. Because it’s a little too ideal, and that’s just not how life works. But a girl can dream!

The longing I feel for this kind of proximity to friends is the longing of an itinerant, who went to school in one place, college in another, lives in one city, and has worked in another. But the blessing I have is a community of friends in many places around the world. 

So, at a time of year when we’re focused on giving thanks more intentionally, I am grateful for what I do have – friendships that have lasted for decades, in New York and across distance, and friendships that have bloomed in recent years.  

I just came back from a few days in London, where I lived 20 years ago. Some of my friendships began there and are only activated when we are in the same city. Being in New York also facilitates maintaining relationships with far-flung friends, because people often come through the city. Having my parents in Belize makes it easier to maintain childhood relationships there.  The privilege of being able to travel helps. What I share with the friendships that have lasted over time and distance is an abiding belief in authentic, meaningful connections and conversations. 

Not enough of my friends live nearby, and well, none of them are Gaby. 🥰 But they’re all awesome. I’m not naming anyone specific but there’s the one I see a lot of theater with, the one who gives me great career advice, the one who invites me to cool places, the one who listens to me complain about tedious things that I have no right complaining about, and sometimes that’s the same friend! So whether you’re in London, Belize, New York, California or elsewhere in the country or the world, thank you for being my friend, for being patient and honest with me, for playing with and pushing me, and most importantly, for valuing our friendship. 

With gratitude,

Sayu