Mothers on our Mind
The past weekend brought the usual cornucopia of social media tributes and ads for Mother’s Day gifts (hello, late stage capitalism). Despite recent attempts to acknowledge that not everyone had a mom, and certainly no one had a perfect mom, images of motherhood retain a toxic positivity.
As a mom, or a no. 1 immigrant daughter, I know that motherhood is fraught with complications and contradictions. Acknowledging the imperfection of relationships that are marketed as picture perfect is one big step in our healing process.
I recently heard Brené Brown on an episode of Unlocking Us, from 2020, and thought of us, the No. 1 Immigrant Daughters.
“In rooms where I ask people to raise one hand if they’re first-borns, [and] then I ask them to raise their other hand if they’re overfunctioners, I see a lot of folks assuming the double hands up roller coaster position. I’m an overfunctioner, the oldest of four, code name, “Sister Superior.””
What is an overfunctioner, you might ask? Well, friends, take a good look in the mirror.
And here’s Brené: “Overfunctioners tend to move quickly to give advice, rescue, takeover, micromanage, get in other people’s business rather than looking inward.”
That last part is a bit harsh, but it’s possible to support others and take care of ourselves. Check out the entire podcast here. And drop a comment if you’re a Brené fan.
Until next week,
Sayu