No. 1 Immigrant Daughter

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Can You Quiet Quit Being No. 1?

no1immigrantdaughter.substack.com

Can You Quiet Quit Being No. 1?

Sayu Bhojwani
Sep 20, 2022
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By now, you’ve heard it so often, it’s hard to believe that the term quiet quitting only emerged recently (although the concept is not new).

For this week, I wanted to explore whether we could “quiet quit” being a No. 1 Immigrant Daughter. Can the principles of quiet quitting at work apply to our daily lives?  

A Harvard Business Review article has this description: 

opting out of tasks beyond one’s assigned duties and/or becoming less psychologically invested in work. Quiet quitters continue to fulfill their primary responsibilities, but they’re less willing to engage in activities known as citizenship behaviors: no more staying late, showing up early, or attending non-mandatory meetings.

As a No. 1, we start off being assigned duties and grow to assign ourselves those duties. In addition, we’re both psychologically invested in our families and in the roles we play with them. 

What if we divested from this investment? Did not what was expected and more, but only what was essential?  Here’s what that could look like for me. I don’t have to suggest a family reunion, plan it and encourage everyone to show up. I could hold off and let someone else suggest it and plan it, and offer to help with one or two components like finding a caterer or ordering party supplies. (I hear you saying, but it won’t be as organized…and I suggest…quiet quitting). 

We don’t even know what’s non-mandatory sometimes, since we’re so programmed to overperform in our roles as No. 1. The burden is embedded in us, even if we don’t always recognize it. But, helicoptering in to solve a family problem is definitely not mandatory, even after we’ve been asked for our help. 

I’ve seen a number of articles about how quiet quitting doesn’t work the same way for women of color, but they’re behind paywalls. So, let’s just say that like everything else, we know that quiet quitting is a response to systemic failures. That’s why I’m sharing the cartoon above. A reminder to us all that resolving anything – personal, organizational, or systemic – requires us to take action. 

Until next time,
Sayu

A select round-up of clips on “Quiet Quitting”

  • Trevor Noah on Quiet Quitting

  • IG Post: The cure for burnout is not self-care. The cure for burnout is all of us caring for each other.

  • Women and People of Color Can’t Afford to ‘Quiet Quit’

  • Quiet quitting isn't a new phenomenon, especially for those from marginalized backgrounds

  • “A lot of talk about ‘quiet quitting’ but very little talk about ‘quiet firing’

    Periodic dispatch from Sayu Bhojwani on immigrant daughters reaching our highest ambitions and deepest joys

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